1. This is what you do with spare fresh fruit in the summer: turn it into nommy drinks!  Some raspberry hibiscus infused gin, mint leaves, blackberries (from the garden), strawberries, blueberries, watermelon, and a little ice.  Crush it all up in a blender and you have yourself this (sweet) little treat of a drink.  I will admit it is a little seedy, but the fresh blackberries are still worth it.  

     

  2. After dinner we trekked on over to the garden so Navyy could do a little work.  I was hoping to harvest some more berries, but as it turns out there were really only enough for the Minky to snack on!  That was okay, I snapped some pictures of the little guy hanging out and we picked our first (of many) tomatoes!  Oh, and Minky ate some dirt, because he is a toddler.

     


  3. Another To-Do Kind of Day

    Since I was gone for a little over a week, and we were all gone for our vacation there is just a long list of things to be done around the house.  We are more or less done with any big plans we have for the summer so now is the time to just dig in and start thinking about those projects.  Last night I picked up a bunch of big plastic totes to try and re-organize some of the toys in our living room and move some of the stuff in our basement into better (read: more waterproof) storage.  I must be channeling my mom or something because I was pretty excited about it.  Tonight I am definitely going to do some more cleaning and organizing, I have just not decided exactly where in the house I want to start.  Always more to do.

    As a kid I was always pretty disorganized, much to the frustration of my tidy mother.  I inherited my dad’s affinity for piling stuff up in my spaces, and still have not totally shaken those habits.  Still, the older I get, the more I find myself appreciating when there is a little more order.  No need for immaculate, but it is really nice to be able to know that things have a particular home and that our place looks more like a home than an explosion of stuff.

     


  4. I see. Do you ever think about just dressing feminine all the time? Is that something you wish you could do with greater ease than now?

    Absolutely, I have given it a great deal of serious thought.

    That would essentially be the basis for a social transition, where I basically just announce to everyone that I am going by Kat from this point on and will be using female pronouns, etc.  In all likelihood I would be able to keep my job, my family would not abandon me, the vast majority of my friends would stick around, and Navyy would stay with me.   But it is a huge step, and one that would have plenty of complications.  It would certainly impact my relationships with some people, it would make it more difficult to get/maintain future employment, and I would have the headache of trying to negotiate legal/other documentation name/gender mismatch pieces.  These are all things that can be managed, but for me the payoff, because of societal barriers, has just not quite outweighed the effort and potential risks needed to make it happen.

    That right there sums up most of my internal strife when it comes to the trans stuff.  If we lived in a world where gender was less of a big deal, and more fluid, I would have no issue being myself.  As-is, I am in a position of making imperfect choices, each with their own sets of advantages and disadvantages.  Most of the time I can live with that, but sometimes it does hurt (pretty badly).

    So yes.  I have given it a lot of thought.  And this is where I am at now.  Will I be in the same place in a decade?  I am not sure, but I am always striving for the right balance for myself and my family.

    Slow but steady wins the race, or something.

     


  5. solointhesand said: Are you going to have a conversation like "We call Baba 'she' at home but 'he' when we go to visit Baba's office"? Or will you just let all that stuff work itself out naturally?

    I try not to sweat the pronouns too much with people I know care.  I get that my gender presentation is not entirely consistent and that can make it somewhat difficult.  I always advocate for trying to match pronoun to presentation, but I am not going to worry too much if my kid (especially) mixes the two up.  One of the real advantages to using “baba” is that avoids having weird title/name switch-ups for Minky so I am hoping some of that is just naturally taken care of.  I have a lot of faith that we will figure things out without too much hassle, and additionally that with each passing year I will be out to more and more people and more and more contexts so it (eventually) becomes more or less a non-issue.

     


  6. So you dont dress feminine at work? Or around certain family members?

    Basically, yes.  I used to only present female in the safety of our home, and have slowly but surely expanded my comfort zone, now I do more to fit my presentation to context.  If I am not out in a particular context, or with certain people I will present as male for the sake of ease and continuity.  At this point that is a decision I have made and am consciously sticking to.  If I am out, then I am generally much more open to presenting myself as female and try to take advantage of those opportunities.  There is still plenty of gray area, but the more progress I have made with myself the more comfortable I feel confronting those challenges and advocating for myself and my own needs.  My feminine presentation best reflects my internal gender identity, so the more time and space I can carve out for that the better, but at a certain point there are practical considerations of a full social transition that make me less eager to actively pursue that path.