1. Thanks to thedaddycomplex for tipping me off to this study.  I think it is a pretty interesting one.  Basically the Pew folks looked at parenting values against a host of other things like age, gender, education, race, and religious/political affiliations.  And while they found some commonalities (everyone values “being responsible” highly, and most people care about “Hard Work”), they also found some striking differences in the weight people put on sets of values.

    The political affiliations seem to be the best predictor for striking differences in values (not especially surprising), though there are some notable differences within a couple of the other segments.  The major differences seemed to be around values of religious faith, empathy for others, tolerance, creativity, and obedience.

    I am not sure that any of these things are particularly surprising, but it is interesting to think about this in the context of parenting styles & choices.

    It probably should come as no shock to any of my readers that my value choices would tend to most align with a “consistently liberal” profile (though I probably would shift a couple around a little more). 

    How would you rank these values?


  2. It always sounded insulting to me because the word is a synonym for weird and “not right”. So I never associated myself with it.

    I actually kind of like the association with weird, personally (not so much the “not right” piece, which I get as well).  But I definitely know that the word has some less than flattering history.  The last LGBTQ employee group I was involved in had a pretty in-depth discussion around whether or not to include “queer” in our official name/acronym and opted to go with including it.  I will say that in my experience the word tends to be less preferred/used by gay men, and more celebrated/employed by lesbian & (more often) bi women, trans people, and non-binary individuals.  It also tends to skew towards younger people who tend to not have negative associations around it in the same way (it certainly was not a slur I ever heard growing up).


  3. There are some really great quotes in here.  I have identified myself as “queer” for a while.  For starters I like the word, but I also think it is a neat little shorthand for what can otherwise be really complicated answers.  Queer gives me a little more room for fluidity and fuzziness (another reason why I like “trans” rather than anything more specific), but still ties me into a specific community and gives me a framing that people can relate to, even if they cannot easily/quickly define what it means.


  4. Welcome/About Us

    Periodically I like to re-introduce myself in case those of you who are newer followers have not had a chance to really get to know me/us or are wondering what exactly you Tumbled/stumbled into.  For starters there is always our about page, but I will give a quick summary here as well.

    I am Kat, and the main voice for this blog.  I live in Minnesota, work in higher-ed, am 28, trans (but not transitioning), married to my partner - Navyy, and together we have our kid - Minky who will be 2 years old in December.  The content on here will include plenty of stuff on our parenting experiences, lots of trans/LGBTQ related info, with assorted gardening/food/beer/music/hobbies stuff mixed in.  I largely aim to share original content and/or thought-provoking articles, and rarely - but occasionally reblog stuff.  My ask box is always open, but I save question answering for Tuesdays to keep things consolidated.  I have also (recently) decided to do videos once/twice a month either on specific topics or questions, so keep a lookout for those.  Oh, and lastly, but not leastly, I am a contributor over at the excellent parenting collective blog growinguplast.

    I think that is about it for now, if you want to know more about us, feel free to either dig into the archives or just shoot an ask our direction!  Hope you enjoy.


  5. Yes/No

    I was tagged by alittlechaotic for this one.  Enjoy!

    A. You can ONLY answer Yes or No.

    B. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks —  Copy and repost, delete my answers, then type in your answers.

    • Been arrested? No
    • Kissed someone you didn’t like? Yes
    • Slept in until 5 PM? No
    • Ran a red light? Yes
    • Been suspended from school? No
    • Experienced love at first sight? No
    • Totaled your car in an accident? No
    • Been fired from a job? No
    • Fired somebody? Yes
    • Sang karaoke? No
    • Pointed a gun at someone? No
    • Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yes
    • Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
    • Kissed in the rain? Yes
    • Had a close brush with death? Yes
    • Seen someone die? Yes
    • Played spin-the-bottle? No
    • Smoked a cigar? Yes
    • Sat on a rooftop? Yes
    • Smuggled something into another country? No
    • Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? No
    • Broken a bone? No
    • Skipped school? Yes
    • Eaten a bug? No
    • Sleepwalked? Yes
    • Walked a moonlit beach? Yes
    • Rode [on] a motorcycle? No
    • Dumped someone? No
    • Lied to avoid a ticket? No
    • Ridden in a helicopter? No
    • Shaved your head? No
    • Made your boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Yes
    • Eaten snake? No
    • Marched/Protested? Yes
    • Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? No
    • Puked on amusement ride? No
    • Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? Yes
    • Been in a band? Yes
    • Been on TV? No
    • Shot a gun? Yes
    • Skinny-dipped? No
    • Gave someone stitches? No
    • Ridden a surfboard? No
    • Drank straight from a liquor bottle? Yes
    • Had surgery? Yes
    • Streaked? No
    • Taken by ambulance to hospital? No
    • Fainted? Yes
    • Peed behind a bush? Yes
    • Donated Blood? No
    • Grabbed an electric fence? No
    • Eaten alligator meat? Yes
    • Killed an animal when not hunting? Yes
    • Peed your pants in public? Yes
    • Snuck into a movie without paying? No
    • Written graffiti? No
    • Still love someone you shouldn’t? No
    • Been in handcuffs? Yes
    • Believe in love? Yes
    • Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes

    Tagging: moonboyandsungirl, jramonap, converseandclothdiapers-deactiv, dawnthetransprincess, kimber-leigh, savthewalker, whispermewordsoflove


  6. And for those of you who are more visual.  Here are some comic representations of dysphoria and/or pieces of it.

    From top to bottom:
    Becoming Me
    Transgirl Next Door
    Manic Pixie Girl